Hate mail horror

I sat in my dinghy room, looking fixedly at the piece of paper(seems like I’m gonna start a novel here, the way I’m writing! Don’t worry. Atleast not yet ;)
Anyway, so I was sitting there with a rigid, almost stony, expression, trying to hold on to my outburst of seething rage (ooh! Scary, that. Beware ;). The reason? I was holding a sheet of paper which read -
“I see your article in The Times of India [sorry, had to change the name of the paper. Couldn’t tell you the original one’s name.........well, let’s just say...........it wasn’t worth mentioning. Hey, everyone improvises a little bit. Don’t laugh!] which I, sorry to say, wasn’t a very good one. How did they let you rite evn?? You cant rite! Haha, do you know that? Learn first to hold a pen. Haha. What a stupid person you are. I could mailed you, but I liked to shocked you so that you be excited you got a letter and then you be shocked to read this. Hahaha. Wish i could see your face. Haha. I know your address because I work at the newspaper office. I rejected your article, but my boss said, let other people see this and they will also laugh at you. Haha. Don’t send anymore article, go and sleep. Don’t write again. Haha.
Your’s lovingly,
Bigshot at The Times of India [ahem. ;)]”
So I actually wanted to laugh at this *&^$£^$ *%$^£””, “£%%%”” ‘s obviously neurotic, abominably stupid, dumb, pathetic, psychotic attempt to demoralize my beautiful, beautiful work, but i just couldn’t bring myself to get past my rage. How could this friggin’ $%^&*£ nobody, Mr.””bigshot””(had to use 2 inverted commas, Ha! “bigshot”! in his dreams.) be allowed to use a ‘pen’ himself?? He should be put in jail for doing that! And his English. I reminded myself to laugh my heart out later at his attempt to ‘rite’ English! And what’s with the ‘haha’ after every attempt of a sentence?!? Hello! heard of ‘lol’? Of course not, what a jerk!
I knew deep down that this was just a stupid prank by a stupid *&^%£”@, but i didn’t really care from my ‘deep down’ right then. All i cared was what i had ‘on the surface’. Rage. My first published article which i had already framed in a 24’ by 12’ frame and hung in my drawing room with my name in bold fluorescent (it shines!) letters(okay, I AM pathetic, and maybe ‘deep down’ i deserved hate mail. But who cares about deep down!!! :X) and the first thing I receive is a hate mail! How unfair is that! Poor me. My whole ‘legend’ was ruined! I had such exotic dreams, where i would be relating my adventurous life stories to my grand children, sitting in the old antique chair, with a cane on my side, and fire blazing away in the furnace, and a royal ‘tea-set’ at my side and a butler standing behind me (because I would be friggin’ famous and filthy rich!) and my two sweet grandchildren sitting on the rug, captivated with my ‘exotic’ stories, and i would have to tell them, that the first letter of ‘appreciation’ i received was from a psychotic, neurotic &^&$&* who couldn’t even spell ‘even’! Kinda stamps on the picture there, don’t you think?
I calmed down a bit, thinking how to get round this. There was no return address (atleast has a little brain, i thought) so could not write a nicely-worded, ‘correctly spelled’ reply (though secretly, ‘deep down’ of course, i was glad i couldn’t coz all i could have managed in my state of rage would have been &^^*%$” *^%$£^@$%” and some more *^%&*%&$!) and it would not have been acceptable coming from a person on her way to becoming a renowned author. Negative publicity could have been taken against me. You have to take care of these things. So well, i pondered on what to do. My dream could be taken care of ( i mean, i can always ‘improvise’, what would my sweet innocent grandchildren know anyway!) But what about right then? Hmmmmmm...........i looked at the filthy piece of paper again. Who cares, anyway. My rage was already subsiding. I was on the stage where I could manage a weak smile. Haha. I snickered. Haha. What a fool. Could only manage to call me a ‘stupid’ person. Haha. I had much more stonger and colourful retorts to that. Jerk. ‘bigshot’. Haha. (oops, did i use ‘haha’? I meant ‘lol’!! :P)


Asmi's Journal said...

YOU'RE CRAZY AND FUNNY and aaaaaaaaaaaaah! *gives Ambareen a BIG hug*

I really love the way you write,Ambareen and I really hate the way Mr.bigshot wrote his silly hate mail. Haha. He doesn't evn know his tenses well. Haha.

lol, I love this post!!! :D <333

CooL MuslimaH said...


nice pic of urs....(*smirk*)

ambareen said...

@Asmi: aawwwww! *a big hug back 2 ya* that's so sweet of u, im glad u lyk it :)
yeah mr.bigshot is a jerk, v all know that! Haha. :P
@muslimah: that's nt me of course!! Googled. N that's all u hv 2 say abt my post? Tch tch.

CooL MuslimaH said...

dont dig for comments.......muhahaha

Well if u ask for it-

Nice style of writing (as i always say)...sentence articulation is superb.mashAllah...Keep it up..

Asmi's Journal said...

You've been tagged!

CooL MuslimaH said...

^ ??

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